Thursday, December 6, 2018

Speaking of My Boss

Yesterday I mentioned my boss (H) asking me if I was trying to train him to take over my brother's job of receiving all my irritated emails at work.

Lest you think his email comes out of nowhere, let me give you the history of my texts with my boss.

Before we start, you should know that he is not my boss on paper. As someone whose role doesn't really match that of others in the group, I get moved around every time they need to rebalance the managers so they all have at least the minimum number of direct reports. But H remains my boss for real throughout all the changes.

This can lead to conversations like the following during my annual performance review:

[boss on paper]: To be honest, I don't really know what you do every day.
[me]: Well that makes two of us.

So here are some text messages my boss and I have exchanged over the last year:
me: I'm bored. Can I leave yet?
H: Ask [boss on paper]
me: He's not here.
H: Excuses
me: Is there a company class on finding a new career?
H: Trying to get you into that but you keep resisting
me: Would 'hijos de puta' have been in use in Ecuador in 1936? Where would I be able to find that out?
H: Google it, but not from the work's computer
(Apparently he was driving with his family in the car when I sent that one, so his wife (whom I also work with) read it to him. She thought it was funny.)
(At some point he said something offensive along the lines of "I don't like cats" or something similar.)
me: [cat gif]
me: [cat gif]
me: [cat gif]
H: [angry bird gif]
me: [cat gif]
H: [hamster gif]
me: [cat gif]
H: [owl being attacked by jay gif]
H: Annoying
me: [cat & Shaq gif]

And then over the next two days I sent 15 more cat gifs. (I counted.)

As you can see he manages to deal with me without quitting, and he hasn't fired me yet either. I'm not sure how he's held up so well. I might need to up my game.

Obligatory picture of my real boss


Route 8 said...

I love this! Clone H and send him my way, please.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

I'm not sure the world could handle two of them...

bozoette said...

Hah! I probably could get away with that with my boss. I once forwarded her an email from Accounting that started with "What fresh hell is this?" and she agreed with me.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

That's the sort of subject line I regularly send to my brother!