So my home phone stopped working last week, or at least I noticed that it wasn't working last week. After a couple days of ignoring the problem I finally went out to get a new phone because I wasn't sure if my phone had just fallen on the hardwood floor one too many times.
First I went to the hardware store (because that's where I go to get everything, including clothes), but they don't sell telephones for some strange reason. Then I headed toward Target and realized that there was a Best Buy in the same parking lot. They're still in business. Who knew? Since it was a little after 8pm, I decided there were probably fewer people in Best Buy than Target, so I went to Best Buy. In fact, aside from a few teens camped out in the entertainment section playing games, I was the only customer. I bought the cheapest phone I could find and then waited for the clerk to figure out how to ring up the sale. I gather it wasn't something that he'd done many times before. (Again, Best Buy is actually still in business!) Then of course I had to decline the additional warranty on my $15 phone. And then I had to show my receipt to a guy standing literally five feet away who had watched the whole transaction before I could go out the door. (Why, exactly, is Best Buy still in business?)
So then I came home and plugged the phone in and it still didn't work.
The next day, following the phone company website instructions, I waded through the weeds (with foxtails and I failed to clear out even though last year I had to take my dog in to have three foxtails removed from her ears) to find the exterior jack, crouched down and cleaned out a few of the spider webs, and tried both test jacks which of course didn't work.
I went back inside to set up an online appointment to have a technician sent out. While sitting down I found that while I was crouched in the weeds, a bunch of foxtails had attached themselves to the seat of my jeans and sitting on them made them poke into my butt.
The moral of this story is that procrastination will come back to bite you in the ass.