Wednesday, April 22, 2020

I shall rip and then I shall sew

It's mask-making time! I ordered some from Etsy, but they haven't arrived, so it was either figure out how to use the sewing machine in the closet, or wrap a t-shirt around my face the next time I had to go out.

My mom is a quilter, so it's more than a little embarrassing that I can't even sew a straight line. But I had the machine (and for the life of me, I can't remember where I got it or why), and though I was pretty sure Effing Scooter (RIP) had worked his magic on it at one point, I decided to give it a try.

My backup plan involved the glue gun.

This was my starting point:
Mary Robinette said it was simple and I figured I was the perfect person to test that theory.

I started with an old pillowcase. Luckily it ripped along the line like it was supposed to. I'm fairly certain my mom took a stiff drink when I complained that fabric is hard to cut "even when I use my good kitchen scissors."

very wrinkled purple batik fabric
Designer batik masks -- I should charge myself extra

Things started well, mostly because the machine was still threaded from the last time I gave up on it. I sewed the first line like a boss and crowed because I'd finally figured out the whole sewing thing.

Note: the gods punish hubris.

I had to skip the ironing part because... look, if I don't ever buy clothes that need to be ironed, why should I own an iron? (Except I feel like I used to have one and I have no idea where it went.) In any case, my masks have that casual rumpled look.

What happened next was a series of attempts to sew another line, interspersed with breaks for me to swear and try to fix the bobbin again or rethread the top part after the thread broke, or my favorite, refill the bobbin. (When the instructions say that it will stop when the bobbin is full, DON'T BELIEVE THEM!)

sewing machine with purple fabric
Look, it's sort of working here

I am fairly certain that this was about the time my neighbors closed their windows. Also, one of my coworkers found out that I was making a mask and hinted that she'd love one too and I almost ran over my finger while laughing about giving the results of my sewing to another person as a gift.

Anyhow, it turns out that these mask instructions really are quite simple, because even I was able to finish and get a working mask.

white woman with a purple fabric mask
At least the mask is bigger than my forehead! And yes, it's still wrinkled.

The good news about this project is that if anyone is close enough to evaluate your stitching while you're wearing your mask, they're too damn close and you're allowed to poke them in the eye.

purple fabric with a clusterfuck of thread because bobbins are evil
Whatever. Close enough. Bobbins are the work of the devil.

And that's what I've been doing lately.

The big dog standing on the sofa and staring out the window
The big dog is guarding the house from viruses and other dogs
The end.