Friday, October 23, 2009

You Have Old Mail

(Seriously, I was done with this post two hours ago, but Blogger was having issues. Then I got sidetracked reading a thread about the worst DIY project I've ever seen, and now it's almost 1am. I'm going to bed now.)

So I stayed home on Wednesday (just because I could) and instead of getting anything done, I sat around and read The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. It's an entertaining book, told through a series of letters written to and from an English writer immediately after WWII ended. Most of the letters touch in some way on conditions and happenings in Guernsey during the German occupation.

(My sum total of knowledge about Guernsey before reading this book: Guernsey was the original source of Guernsey cows. I could never remember the difference between Guernsey and Jersey cows. I think they're both small and brownish, but I could be mistaken.)

Anyhow, the letters that make up the novel are witty and clever, and as you might expect, this requires a huge suspension of disbelief because who writes like that? However, since we all know that everyone in post-war Britain was witty and clever, I was able to get over this hurdle.

However, just for comparison's sake, here is an actual letter I received from K-poo (on bright orange paper) while I was living in Germany. (I'm assuming that I had given her some stationery as an incentive to write...)

June 4, 1989
Dear Theresa,

You know on the card you sent me, you said that I looked like one of the gators on the front. Well, theres
[sic] three so the other two must be you and Johanna. I think you gave me this as a hint to write to you. (Actully [sic], I know you did.) Anyway, I liked the colors, but theres [sic] only one of each color so I can't write with these all the time. I wrote you with one of the colors that I liked best. The other color I liked best was the hot pink. Well I think your trick worked. I did write to you. Sorry this letter wasn't very long. Be seeing you soon.
Karen (B.)

P.S. This week is my last music lessen [sic] till next year with Mr. Orr.

[sic] I love my rat.

(Then, in a different handwriting style (big fluffy letters) on the end of the page...)

Hi! now you can't tell me I didn't write. Johanna B.

So, yeah, not a lot of references to Charles Lamb, or Jane Austen. In fact, other than reiterating the fact that they were both writing to me, there was not a whole lot of information in the letter...

While I was looking though my old letters, I also found an envelope that has scrawled in big angry letters "Warum haben Sie keine Namen an Ihren Briefkasten?" This was from the evil postman, chastising me for not putting my name on my mailbox. Ah, life in Germany...


Eric said...

Wow, you should have gone to the nice half of Germany instead.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

I was going for authenticity.

Karen said...

oh my god this was hilarious! I'm actually crying from laughing so hard.

jeff said...

I don't think you're appreciating the mail and suggest a re-reading.

'I love my rat.'

I like the deft and literate way k-poo hints that things w/ her love life aren't going that well. Especially in light of the tumor.

And everyone knows, the older sister stealing the limelight is a rich plot device.

jeff said...

Can you expound on the evil postman? Babelfish translates the phrase to just be a polite sounding question of 'why don't you write your name on the box?'

Karen said...

I wonder who the other Karen was (circa 1989) that I thought I had to specify the first letter of my last name...

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Jeff, all civil servants (and supermarket cashiers) in Germany are evil and go out of their way to be rude. You'll have to trust me on this one.

Karen, I think I habitually signed my name "Theresa B." and you were satirizing. I'm glad you loved your rat, though.

johanna said...

Hey Karen - do you still have that book that Theresa gave you where you write an entry and then mail it back to her? Tell her I said hi. :)

On a different note, Theresa, Aiden has come up with a brilliant way for us to have pets. If we buy one of the houses for sale in our neighborhood, then our (future) dog and cat can live there and we don't have to clean up any poop.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Johanna, I believe this may have been a pattern with your letters. I think I have at least one more like that.

About the animals... I begin to see that I am fated to own so many pets in order to make the family averages work out. What is wrong with you people?

Eric said...

About the animals... I begin to see that I am fated to own so many pets in order to make the family averages work out.

That's because we love the planet and you don't.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

My dog is so old she'd even make terrible stew.