Sunday, October 25, 2009

Such a Literary Family

This evening I shocked the obnoxiously smiling grocery clerk when she asked if I had any big plans for Halloween. My answer: "Give candy to the little bastards so they won't egg my house." She stopped smiling after that.

(Normally I don't mind the cashiers and their attempts to be friendly since it's a requirement of the job -- this one is just over the top and she bugs me.)

Anyhow, for this evening's post, I'm going with two letters. Both were written on tissue paper and accompanied handmade Christmas ornaments that I received as part of a package while I was living in Germany.

Letter # 1 (from Jojo the Enforcer):

Dearest Theresa,
I decided I would be nice just this once and write to you on tissue paper. (Save money, of course.) By the way you better like the hot chocolate, it weighed a lot. Hope you like my present. I did it last night when mom reminded us she is mailing it tomorrow. Last night was an earthquake and me & sis were alone (mom & dad were cleaning up at the gym.) It measured a 5.0, but it was scary. On Tuesday night I get to go see the glory of christmas at the crystal cathedral. I'm going with the gym team because sue can get the tickets cheap since she is going to dance in it. Last Wednesday she was at rehearsal and one angel's cord broke. She was supposed to be 50 feet but the cable person decided to lower her and got her too low. When he tried to pull her up the cable snapped. She was 15 feet when it happened (no serius [sic] injuries.)

Well, Bye

(P.S. Karen copied my tissue paper idea!)

And then the other letter from K-poo:

Dear Theresa,
I'm writing to you on tissue paper to save money. It was Johanna's dish week on Thanksgiving. I hope it's going to be her week on Christmas. I hope you like the gift from Ubar [my budgie]. I made districts in gymnastics, as you know, and I made state too! They are having a contest in the paper about the person that can finish the story that they had in the paper the best wins $25 and thier [sic] story is printed in the paper on Christmas. Bye,
From Karen.

P.S. I didn't copy Johanna by writing on this!

This stuff is way funnier than anything I could come up with.


Karen said...

the hilarity continues! I'm so glad you kept this stuff. This makes me question autobiographies. I don't think there was ever a scarcity of paper in our household. I also don't remember making state. I do remember that having a dish week over a holiday was a BIG DEAL.

I had to look up the word budgie. Then I understood what the word Ubar referred to.

Did you find these hilarious at the time?

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

I'm pretty sure I found it funny at the time since I remember that I had those letters stashed somewhere. I have a bunch from Jeff and Eric during the college years that I haven't been able to find...

It's really interesting that Johanna mentions money at least twice in that letter -- she was what, about 12 years old? Apparently she was worried about her pennies even then (although I'm pretty sure Mom was paying the postage). Your letter is just classic younger sister territory, though.

And dish week over a holiday _was_ a big deal.

Eric said...

I have a bunch from Jeff and Eric during the college years that I haven't been able to find...

Then Mr. Beeks did his job. We had to pay extra because there was a dog in the house, though he was willing to make a partial refund, given the circumstances.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Sorry, Mr. Beeks had a slight allergy attack and choked on a hairball. By the time the paramedics finished tripping over the dog it was too late.

The letters are around here somewhere.