Thursday, October 7, 2010

Hear today, yawn tomorrow

Things you might have heard if you followed me around all week (stalker!)...

Me, to my dog while on a walk: Why don't you poop on the lawn of the Catholic church instead? I have nothing against the Seventh Day Adventists.

(At work, after listening to the guy with the incredibly loud voice explain the problem multiple times to different people in different areas of the building)
Jon: Does he think they didn't hear it the last time?
Me: I should just go fix the problem.
Jon: Really?
Me: Yeah, it's just a perl script. I could have fixed it already while he was talking.
Jon: Oh, I thought you meant you were going to fix the problem with surgery.

(While I was complaining about the band Cake)
Me: They're a one trick pony, and it's not even a particularly interesting trick.
Jeff: What's one of their songs?
Rvan: (Some random humming)
Jeff: How about one with lyrics.

The really loud guy, while talking in an office not too far away: If you have the balls to put in a non-editable field, you better be damned sure the value is correct.
Rvan, from the other side of the cubicle: Theresa, did you hear that?
Me: La la la la la.

See? Way better than that damned reality tv. I should get paid to document this stuff...


jeff said...

but where is the plotting and conniving? Where is the eating of bugs? Where is the sad-sack d-list celeb trying to waltz w/ a professional?

Where are the gold-capped teeth?

cake is a lie. keanu is sad. all is vanity. damn, get off my lawn!

Eric said...

What is with that really loud guy? Is he deaf, or maybe... a narcissist?

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Jeff: Plotting and conniving? Weren't you the one that told our director that _I_ would get more work done if good old "40 grit" was moved from a cubicle to an office?

It's true, there is no dancing or gold-capped teeth.

Eric: I think he's just one of those people who likes to proclaim things. There used to be a job for that (reading the king's proclamations from the balcony), but now we just shun them.

Eric said...

There could never have been as many openings as we've had criers.

Did the king ever proclaim things about car repair?

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

If I were the king, I'd make as many proclamations as necessary to keep all the obnoxious people gone from the castle.

"Hey, I need you to tell the people in the frozen north about the new law about... the proper way to pick a horse's hooves. Off you go!"