Sunday, July 4, 2010

No Flip, Just Flop

I found out this weekend that I'm a total fraud.

I was born in California, and except for a few years in Missouri (not my fault), a year in Germany (my fault), and a year in Louisiana (a disaster of epic proportions that I'd love to blame on somebody else), I've lived my entire life in California.

Not only have I lived almost exclusively in California, I grew up in Southern California a few miles from one of the nicest beaches around.

Sure, I don't have a tan, but nobody has a real tan these days. Not like when we were kids and people slathered baby oil on their leathery skin and used reflectors to get an even tan under the chin. I never had the patience to tan properly, which turned out to be a good thing, cancer-wise.

I may not have the bangin' beach bod, but I do have blond(ish) hair and blue eyes.

Despite all these qualifications, I may have to turn in my California card, because this weekend I found out I can no longer walk in flip-flops. What the hell? I don't remember this being a problem when I was a kid -- they stayed on my feet and I ran around in them.

Now I find them flying off my feet as I'm walking, and I almost fell when I stepped on one with the other foot.

Is this what happens when you get out of practice? Or am I just getting old? Please don't tell me I have to move to Minnesota...


JJ said...'s not looking good. I am an east coaster and HATE flip-flops. I moved.

OTOH, Rich is contemplating inventing flip-flops for dogs. Logan apparently feels that the asphalt is too hot to walk on and does a little tap dance. Rich is from CA, so he loves flip-flops and flaunts them every chance he can.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

I'm thinking I just need more practice. I think I actually have bruises from these things.

They are much cooler (temperature-wise) than anything else, though...

Can't you knit Logan some booties?

JJ said...

I could knit Logan booties if I want him to have FB surgery. I'm going to try the Mushers ointment. It was great for the cold/salt, and it says on the label that it's good for hot pavement.

However, in lieu of booties for Logan, I could knit you black socks for your sandals. I could even make socks to wear with flip flops.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Eric: it's not black socks, it's thick grey socks.

JJ: I've never had a dog that ate really stupid things. I'll probably be in trouble if I ever do get one.

I think I need a flip-flop leash (like a surfboard leash) so when they come off my feet they won't go too far away.