I found out this weekend that I'm a total fraud.
I was born in California, and except for a few years in Missouri (not my fault), a year in Germany (my fault), and a year in Louisiana (a disaster of epic proportions that I'd love to blame on somebody else), I've lived my entire life in California.
Not only have I lived almost exclusively in California, I grew up in Southern California a few miles from one of the nicest beaches around.
Sure, I don't have a tan, but nobody has a real tan these days. Not like when we were kids and people slathered baby oil on their leathery skin and used reflectors to get an even tan under the chin. I never had the patience to tan properly, which turned out to be a good thing, cancer-wise.
I may not have the bangin' beach bod, but I do have blond(ish) hair and blue eyes.
Despite all these qualifications, I may have to turn in my California card, because this weekend I found out I can no longer walk in flip-flops. What the hell? I don't remember this being a problem when I was a kid -- they stayed on my feet and I ran around in them.
Now I find them flying off my feet as I'm walking, and I almost fell when I stepped on one with the other foot.
Is this what happens when you get out of practice? Or am I just getting old? Please don't tell me I have to move to Minnesota...