Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Many Faces of Evil (Part One)

I'm not sure who the first person was who thought "Hey, let's take these nasty, inedible, messy berries and store them in salt and Drain-o for a while. Maybe they'll be non-toxic and tastier then!" However it happened, now there's half an aisle in the grocery store taken up by this crap. And just try to get a vegetarian pizza without olives. I dare you.

The addition of bleu cheese is just icing on the yucky fondant of the stale olive cake. All it needs for the perfect evil trifecta is garlic, and BevMo was out of that flavor. Whitey G checked.


Jacob said...

Please tell me that you're not putting down either garlic or blue cheese. There's something a bit immoral if you are. Sure, blue cheese can be a little strong, but garlic is culinary magic. I would eat garlic flavored ice cream if the idea didn't revolt me.

I actually kind of agree on olives, although they're gradually growing on me. I went through a phase in high school of re-examining my thoughts and beliefs and decided that aversions to foods were entirely in the individual's head. Then I went and systematically attempted to work through my food aversions and I have been largely successful. My first win was beer, although the alcohol in there makes re-education a little more rewarding. The only two foods I haven't managed to work through are raw tomatoes and olives. Surprisingly, olives are proving easier than raw tomatoes. When used in small amounts as a seasoning, olives can actually improve the flavor of a food much in the way prunes work in A1 sauce and fermented fish paste and fish sauce works in Thai food so beautifully despite being utterly revolting when sniffed straight.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Oh, I am totally putting down garlic. Actually, I wouldn't care about garlic so much, but it's in everything. It's impossible to avoid.

Bleu cheese I don't have as much of a problem with, mostly because I hardly ever run across it. My taste in cheese is definitely a bell curve with cost on the x-axis -- expensive (bleu cheese, brie, camembert) no. Ridiculously cheap (Velveeta, American) no. Pedestrian (Swiss, Cheddar, Jack) yes.

Beer... I've tried. I've given up. I'll stick to Blackthorn cider.