So I was going to write a diatribe about the prevalence of garlic in our society and how powerful the "garlic goes in everything" lobby is, to the point that I have to make my own hummus if I want to eat hummus without garlic.
And I do want to eat hummus without garlic. In fact, I want to eat almost everything without garlic. I don't like garlic. I especially don't like raw garlic. I don't like the taste when I eat it, and I don't like the way my skin smells like garlic for the next twelve hours.
Apparently I am the only person in the entire world who feels this way since all prepared foods contain garlic. (I also don't like oregano, so Italian food as made by Americans is right out.)
So like I said, I was going to complain about garlic, but then at work today a funny thing happened. We had a ten second power outage which (through strange and wondrous circumstances) led to one of the buildings being evacuated which led to very long downtime of the servers-which-must-never-be-offline which led to me having the afternoon off. (Which then led to me sitting in rush hour traffic on the way home (and how crazy would you have to be to drive those freeways at rush hour every day?), but that's a price I'm willing to pay today.)
Anyhow, I think the garlic lobby got wind of my proposed rant and tried to shut me up.
Stinking garlic. I hate you.
7 comments:
You can never be too rich, too thin, or have too much garlic. Besides, you home-made-humus people are gonna be out in the cold when the vampire apocalypse happens.
Ah, but I'll be the only one left standing when the vampire PR firm reveals that they actually prefer garlic and they've been behind this push to put garlic in everything all along.
Now which is it? According to mom, cilantro is in everything.
Does everything have garlic and cilantro?
PS: I'm with you on this. Our clan does not process garlic well.
Jeff, I actually do have lime/cilantro hummus (with garlic) in my refrigerator.
Ewwww. Cilantro is the surest way to ruin food.
Another Jeff here to say I'm with you Theresa! I don't like garlic (or onions for that matter) but my wife is in love with it. In fact, I told her just the other night while she was making yet another garlic-infested dinner, "If you love garlic so much why don't you marry it!" She wasn't amused.
I don't think she gets me.
Eric: I happen to like cilantro, but I agree that it is used in a lot of things. Of course, all of those things have garlic, too.
Jeff from St. Cloud (Okay, I was going to call you Jeff #2, but that just sounds rude...): Excellent schoolyard-level debate tactic on your part. Does your wife cook with extra garlic when she's annoyed with you? If all your meals have garlic in them, you might want to consider bringing home flowers and going for the generic apology to cover all your sins, real and imagined.
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