Thursday, December 11, 2008

It’s Beginning to Feel A Lot Like Christmas…

Evidence that Christmas is around the corner:

- The grass is sometimes a little bit crunchy in the morning.

- All my vet school friends are depressed about the number of euthanasias they have to perform. (Fact of life: everybody’s favorite time to kill their pets is right before or after Christmas. Hospitals with limited freezer space can either a) schedule extra pickups by the cremation company, or b) rotate the dead animals every few hours so nothing thaws. It’s just a great time of year for everyone.)

- The local high school marching band is practicing for the parade this weekend.

I’ve heard them three times this week. It always brings tears to my eyes. (Those would be tears of laughter.)

Unfortunately, this band has gone with the time-honored tradition of taking the person with the least musical talent and putting him on the bass drum. After all, how hard can it be to whack a drum with a fuzzy mallet every once in a while?

Sadly this drummer embodies the equivalent of a metronome designed by Salvador Dali. First there are a few beats at one speed, then his attention wanders and he slows down. Then he notices that he’s not walking fast enough and tries to catch up, overshooting in the process. The snare drums repeat this pattern with a slight lag. The rest of the band (or at least, the ones that remember which notes they are playing) are split between following the drum section and following their own beat.

The bad news is that they only have one more day to practice. The good news is that the parade route is only about three blocks long, and they’ll only have to play for five minutes. And the even better news is that it’s supposed to rain this weekend.

Once again, I love living in Woodland.

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