Thursday, March 11, 2010

These Kids Today

Okay, so here's my really important soul-searching question of the day:

What do kids make in art class these days?

Back when I was young, it was simple. You took your allotted chunk of grey clay, smashed it down, folded up the sides, splashed some glaze on it, put it in the kiln, and when it came out you had the perfect Christmas gift for your parents: an ashtray. My parents must have gotten at least twelve of those things between me and my older brothers.

Let's face it, an ashtray is about the limit of most kids' artistic ability with clay. The only step below ashtray on the artistic scale is paperweight, and I think we made a few of those too.

But somewhere in the eight years between me and Jojo the Enforcer, somebody realized that perhaps having young children making ashtrays at school was sending the wrong message. So what will Rvan's soon-to-be-born boys Jack and Daniel make in kindergarten? (Okay, I think Christina nixed that suggestion of mine along with Sam 'n Ella (back before we knew they were going to be boys), Benson and Hedges, and Tom and Jerry. For some strange reason Rvan refuses to tell us what they're going to name the children until they're born. Spoilsport.)

Other things my parents would be arrested for today:
  • Driving cross country with my three month old sister unrestrained in a bassinet placed on the floor between the driver and passenger seats.
  • Lawn darts (yep, we had a set)
  • Letting us ride around the neighborhood on our bikes, unsupervised, in the street, without helmets.
  • Buying my brothers pocket knives, which they took to school so they could play mumblety-peg during recess.
At least it wasn't as bad as a friend of mine who was allowed to ride in the open bed of his uncle's pickup truck. He said it wasn't too dangerous as long as you dodged the beer bottles that his uncle threw into the bed after he finished one.

Anyhow, poor Harley and Davidson won't know what they're missing...


Vandoren Academy said...

We are going to let Bert and Ernie ride in the back of trucks. What's the problem? aren't brittle like adults. I hear that at high speeds they bounce instead of break anyways.
Seriously though, when I was little, I rode in the back of my Daddies truck all the time. I sat on the wheel well. He even made sure there was plenty of room for me to lay down in case we saw a cop. I always wondered though, why he would tie the dog in and not me? -Christina

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

I worry that Ginger and Roger won't be quite as flexible as normal children given their father's genes. I also worry that they might be like anti-Weebles and always tip over due to the weight of their heads.

Anyhow, good luck with pushing out Marco and Polo next Tuesday. Let me know if your dorky husband forgets to bring the Diet Coke and I'll make a run to the hospital for you!

JJ said...

Funny you should bring this up as I was reading a thread on my knitting board (haha) about fond childhood memories. Your list was pretty much there as well as chemistry sets including REAL chemicals like cyanide and strips of gunpowder-containing caps. Apparently, some people would bite down on the caps to blow smoke. I doubt these same toys are available these days, so you won't have to worry about Smith and Wesson blowing anything up for a while.

JJ said...

Oh, and one of my fondest memories was sitting in the rear-facing seat in the back of my dad's station wagon, waving and making faces at the people behind us. Seat belts? Seat belts were for pansies (and not a standard feature in those seats since I don't remember them existing).

Now I'm sad that Beavis, Butthead, and all babies of this generation will never enjoy such experiences...

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

I remember those caps. You could also hit them with a hammer. Or stomp on them.

They also at one time sold science kits with real radioactive material, but I missed that by a good twenty years.

The funny thing is, we actually did have seat belts in our station wagon -- I think my dad had to install them himself. So it wasn't like they were trying to get rid of a kid or two...

Ah well, the only saving grace is that little Thor and Odin will likely find something almost as dangerous to play with.