Thursday, December 31, 2009

You Say You Want A Resolution...

Yes, it's that time of year again. The time when we all lie to ourselves about how this year is going to be different. But why should I buck the trend? Here are my resolutions for 2010:

  • In 2010 I'm going to get down to my ideal weight. (Yes, this is the obligatory resolution for all women who don't have problems with anorexia.) (Rvan, I might need the month of November off work so I can go on a crash diet if the whole "eating right and exercising" thing doesn't pan out.) (Also, I may need part of December off to recover from the partial/whole leg amputation that may be required if the crash diet doesn't work.)
  • In 2010 I resolve to continue responding to those people aggressively tailgating for no reason by slowing down to exactly the legal speed limit. (Not because it will make me a better person -- I do it because it really pisses those people off.)
  • In 2010 I resolve to turn 42. (I'm pretty sure I've got this one nailed. And if not, I won't care.)
  • In 2010 I resolve to remain single and childless. (Again, shouldn't be a stretch.)
  • In 2010 I resolve to get a first draft of a novel written. (This is a personal growth thing. Don't worry, I won't ask anyone to read it. You don't have to start avoiding me because of that.)
Okay, yeah, that's pretty much it.

Happy New Year!


rvan said...

Maybe something along the lines of Cthulhu meets Beowulf?

If I remember my college German literature classes well, suffering leads to some good books. So maybe that crash diet and subsequent amputation at the end of the year will lead to a good read for the rest of us.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Cthulhu would stomp Beowulf in an instance. That would be a very short story.

Wait, are you trying to say that you read good books in your German lit classes? I don't remember reading any of those.

jeff said...

Instance? As in 'new Beowulf()'?

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

... in an instance of caffeine-induced rage.

Obviously I just need to stop working now.

Corrected by Jeff -- the world really is coming to an end.

rvan said...

I was actually referring to more Cthulu speak in the same form as Beowulf, an Old English heroic epic poem (thank you wikipedia). Whether you choose to include any violent spoon warfare is up to you.

Jeff, did I get all the words right?

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

I don't know. Cthulhu dialog doesn't really lend itself well to iambic pentameter. (Hah! I take your obscure English education reference and raise you!)

Besides, I said that I wouldn't force you guys to read it. I didn't mean that I wanted it to be completely unreadable.

jeff said...

I would have commented more but you used referred to the beatles in your title. For shame. For gods sake, why not, 'I feel love'?

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

"I would have commented more but you used referred to the beatles in your title."

And with that sentence, the world returns to its normal axis. Huh?

And why would I feel love?

jeff said...

'cause we all love rvan's donna summer much more than the 'fab four' and by referring to it you could state your case as an empathetic woman who resolves to change... (or something, I'm just glad i've replaced paul, or john, in my head w/ donna).

Yep, I typo good. Conjugation, also.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Conjugation? Hell, I don't want to hear anything more about your marital relations, okay?