Here's a note from Jojo the Enforcer (in block letters about two inches high):
T: Do you have any band-aids? My feet yearn for old, crummy, beat-up tennis shoes.
And my reply:
J: You can't really be a [Last name redacted] if any part of you yearns for anything... Enjoy!
And then there is this undated letter from Jeff. It was written at least fifteen years ago, but it could have been written yesterday, aside from the fact that he no longer handwrites anything.
My Dearest Theresa,
If truth be told (I always liked that saying), I was initially very impressed by the size and magnitude of your latest missive. That is, until I realized that you were using non-college ruled notebook paper and that you filled much of it with cheap laughs (Cauchy-Swartz integral) -- but I do realize that you have too many irons in the fire (I always liked that saying, too -- even if I didn't know what it meant).
By the way, your artist's rendition was quite awe-inspiring -- one can easily see the pain and suffering you must have been experiencing (either that or you have a deep Freudian problem). I especially like the way the instructor's arms were craftily drawn -- indicating the wretchedness of man's existence.
Always remember that the squeaking wheel gets the grease and that after every night there is a day. In fact, life is much like the life of a road. At first, young and fresh and impressionable and then harder and dirtier, soon cracking and giving up chunks to be filled in by men with orange vests. If left uncared-for dangerous accidents can occur.
It's as Chancey Gardner always said -- "After the cold winter, summer will bring new growth."
The funny thing is that he also quoted Chancey Gardner to me just a couple of days ago...