What is seen cannot be unseen...

Apparently all good things must come to an end, and Darth Vader has finally been taken off the lawn.

However, in the days preceding his departure, his cape was blown out and it stuck to nearby branches, just as if he was holding open a short black trench coat.

You've never seen a flasher until you've seen short chunky Darth Vader flasher.

Luke, I Am Your Blubber

I live in a town where people tend to decorate their houses for the holidays. Christmas is always the biggest season, of course, to the point that I saw one lawn with three (indoor-only) power strips chained together in order to power all of the blinking crap covering the grass. During the rainy season. It's a wonder more things don't burn down around here.

Halloween is another big decorating holiday. Pretty much everyone has a few pumpkins by the front door, but some people spend a little more time and effort. And while most of the decorations were down by Wednesday evening (thanks, in part, to the winds that kicked up), some people seem to be going for multi-holiday decorations.

It would be hard to justify keeping ghosts hanging for Thanksgiving, but there are some more non-traditional items that don't exactly scream Halloween. I'm thinking of one particular house which still has a Darth Vader dummy on the front lawn.

I'm not really sure what Darth Vader has to do with Halloween, so I suppose he could be just as relevant for Thanksgiving. I mean, Thanksgiving is about family, right, and why not have an icon who is best known for reconciling with his son?

The best part about the Darth Vader dummy is that the helmet was clearly bought at a store, along with the cape, but the rest of the body was assembled at home. His torso looks okay, with a black shirt, but his legs were made from stuffing black tights. The problem is that the tights were obviously made for a woman's figure, and he's a little overstuffed, so he's got big hips and chunky thighs. Every time I pass the house I think "Wow, Darth's really let himself go."

I'm sure these people wonder why I giggle every time I pass their house.

Technology is mumble mumble mumble

I recently set up a Google voice account because... well, it's free, I can screen my calls, I don't have to give out my home phone number to people at work, it doesn't require me to turn my two decades old answering machine on, and it just seemed like a good idea.

Overall it has worked out pretty well. The call quality is usually pretty good and aside from the really poorly thought-out Google voice interface, it's easy to use.

One of the things it offers is a transcription of voice mail. This is the first transcription I got:

"Hey Theresa, it's Ashraf, it's about 140. Gimme a call me when you have a chance wanted to ask you if We send revenue assurance and activation notice for L T E Not sure if they're included in the email distribution. I have someone suggesting that they are getting emails but I don't have any requirements on thinking maybe that was something about it later on. I'll send you an email so maybe you don't have to call me back and just like that alright. Talk to you later. Bye."

This is so close to what Ashraf actually said, I was really impressed. It got acronyms and some uncommon words (revenue assurance). Aside from a few odd punctuation choices, it's almost perfect.

However, Ashraf speaks pretty clearly without a discernible accent. The next call I got was from a developer who doesn't speak English as a first language and tends to speak very quietly.

Hi. This is a good morning, this is called Georgie end of this team. I just want to call you regarding the The made which I could try getting paid modification. The second decisions. Please. Call me when you get this and such. Bye.

(There's no Georgie working on the project.) I couldn't figure out what this was about, but after listening to the message I wasn't any better informed, so I'm giving Google a pass on this one.

So I was still pretty impressed. Then I got this call from Rvan:

The Thank you. Bye truest friend Al papers and and and you make out of the just calling. We have a Unit 3 E to talk about. Carlie, and just wanna make sure stuff alright with the call comments. Never mind with this price. Rich, email me, but otherwise we're doing okay bye bye.

(There's no Carlie or Al working on the project either.) This sounds very mysterious, with Unit 3 E and all, but I'm pretty sure that wasn't in the actual source.

So, yeah, Google voice. Apparently it only works really well for one person.

Otherwise I'm doing okay bye bye.

May the Luck O' the Pot Be With You!

The annual Halloween potluck is tomorrow. For some reason (probably because Halloween is actually tomorrow) it was scheduled for a Monday instead of Friday, so I have no excuse to avoid it. What does it mean when I spend 40% of my week working from home and still seek excuses to avoid my coworkers? Actually, it just means that I have no idea who half the people are, I'm actively trying to avoid another quarter, and the remainder I see three days a week anyhow.

I'm making what turns out to be a 1950's casserole stuffed into a pumpkin. Or three little pumpkins in this case, since it proved difficult to buy one large pumpkin the day before Halloween. But other than that it has all of the traditional ingredients: cream of mushroom soup, mayonnaise, and Cheddar cheese. Healthy? Not a chance. I only hope it's at least edible. Not because I care about the potluck, but because I'll be eating the remainder for the rest of the week.

At least I haven't resorted to the ultimate potluck snub, the "Vienna franks in lime Jello" masterpiece.

Maybe next year...

Under Siege

It is once again birthday time for my (nearly) seven year old nephew, so of course that means it was time for Jeff and me to create a birthday cake.

First the excuses:

The birthday boy wanted something from Star Craft. Yes, a video game. And not even the current Star Craft. Jeff doesn't have the hardware to play anything released within the past five years, so this is the original game.

We all know how much I like video games.

I have to admit -- I wasn't feeling very inspired. At first I was thinking that it was because we were creating a cake based on a thing that didn't exist, unlike the Kraken and the Storm Trooper. Then I thought about that statement and laughed.

Also, we decided not to mess with fondant this year because it's a pain to work with and tastes pretty gross. It turns out that frosting is also a pain to work with and tastes pretty nasty too. And it looks worse. I think next year we may have to switch back.

So, given all that, here is the "Terran Siege Tank".





Yeah, it's a little underwhelming. Oh well. The birthday boy was pleased that he could put red candles in the gun barrels "just like it's firing".

That's A Compliment, Right?

I went to what used to be the Pot Belly Deli this week for lunch. It changed names about ten years ago, but I prefer the horribly inappropriate old name to the new bland "Deli Delight". The food hasn't changed in fifteen years.

So while my sandwich was being made, Victor, who hadn't heard me order, looked up, said hello, then asked "Vegetarian Delight?"

Apparently I'm a little predictable, but there are exactly three vegetarian options on the menu: one has cream cheese (which I don't really like in a sandwich), one has olives (devil's donkey droppings), and the third has cheese. You can't really go wrong with cheese unless it's one of those stinky expensive kinds which this isn't.

I tried to make a joke about it by responding "It's almost like I always order the same thing or something."

That's when Victor looked at me and said "You're an engineer, aren't you?"

Totally a compliment. It has to be.

The Action and Adventure Never Stop

As usual, I was going to get a bunch of things done this weekend, but, also as usual, I didn't really do any of them. I did mow my lawn and tossed a chicken over the fence. (That last bit isn't a euphemism for anything -- one of my neighbors' chickens was in my back yard when I went out to mow the lawn, and I'm not sure what the dogs would do with a chicken, so I helped her back over into her yard.)

I also watched the movie "Hanna" which had some good acting but a storyline that wasn't all that well thought out. Then I watched the movie "Blitz" with Jason Statham which actually had a better plot, something I really hadn't expected from an action film. What is this world coming to?

I also watched the pilot of "Xena: Princess Warrior" which was actually pretty good for what it was. I'd never seen any Xena episodes, just read the odd comment about the show and heard a few people talking about it. My main impressions: that "ayiyiyiyi" thing sounded different than I expected it to, and the whole Xena-Gabriella relationship wasn't so much a subtext as just plain text (ie, rot26 encrypted for the old-school geeks among you). There's no way that was unintentional.

I didn't actually talk to anyone for two days. (To borrow a line from the show "In Plain Sight": "Best two days of my life.")

So there you have it. My weekend in a nutshell. I look forward to spending many more like it.