So, yesterday I had a moment of inattention (let's go with that) and now I am driving a rental car.
It's not just any rental car. It's an SUV, hereafter referred to as the Nissan Occlusion because I can't remember the real name and also because I can't see a damn thing towards the 10 o'clock area. Between the gigantic side mirror and the frame that holds the windshield and door together, left turns are accomplished by looking once and then hoping nothing changes as you drive toward the spot you can't see.
An extra bit of madness is brought on by the rental company that provides two fobs for the car on a key ring that can't be opened. I actually googled this because I thought maybe I was having yet another moment of stupidity, but nope, they do that on purpose so they still have both fobs when they get rid of the car in a year or two. (Or no fobs, in which case you, the renter, get to replace two of them, which means I'm walking around with $1,000 in my pocket.)
Every car I've driven in the last two years has made me long for my 2002 Civic in a way that I thought could only apply to people and pets.
Anyhow, I drove the Nissan Is-There-Something-In-That-Direction-I-Can't-Tell to Fairfield today. Then the temperature dropped, and as I was driving home I was starting to get really cold. A fresh breeze was blowing over my sneaker-clad toes. So I decided to turn on the heater.
Reader, I could not figure out how to get warm air blowing in the car. I found the heated steering wheel button, and the heated seat button, but I could not find the rest of the controls, and I really didn't want to get off the freeway and find someplace to park for a while, so I turned on the seat and the steering wheel, and drove thirty miles with my thighs burning and my fingers comfortable and a cold wind blowing over my frostbitten toes.
Getting the Nissan Marco Polo into my garage required the use of all three (!) exterior cameras. (And by the way, the fact that they put three different cameras on the car, plus flashing lights that indicate when there is a car next to you, is a clear sign that they know there are visibility problems and have decided to just high tech gadget their way out of it. That doesn't really work.)
In any case, it's in my garage, where it will stay as long as I can possibly manage.
Have a lovely picture of Guido to make your evening better: