49 messages were filtered into your spam mailbox this week:
Category: Subjects that make you think that this might be a real message
Subject: What time is okay for you
Score: 3/10 (It might have worked…)
From: "Bank Of America Customer Update Department"
Subject: Bank of America Java Update Includes Security Fixes - Security Fix.
Score: 1/10 (Nice try…)
Category: Off the wall
Subject: Paris Hilton Hates Nicole Richie
Score: 1/10 (because I hate Paris Hilton)
Subject: The first aid is always ready
Score: 2/10 (and the lemonade is still in the bottle.)
Subject: We have hijacked your baby
Score: 1/10 (because you can have my baby, I don’t want it.)
Subject: Britney Spears Loses Kids For Being Fat At VMA's
Score: 5/10 (or maybe it was because she was obviously stoned…)
Category: Single entendre
Subject: Turning a small knob into a huge wand!
Score: 7/10, but 2 points deducted since I received seven messages with this subject in one week.
Subject: Make your man pole hard and strong
Score: 6/10 (but if I ever write soft porn, I’m using this one!)
Category: Odd spelling to avoid spam filters
Subject: if he's hard to shop for, you wont go wrong with viiiiaaaaagggrrrraaa
Score: 2/10 (Bonus point for Tony the tiger imitation, or maybe that’s just in my head…)
Subject: Huge holiday discounts for PE_enlargement and ED_treatment!
Score: 1/10 (on the theory that you shouldn’t have to wiki the abbreviations in an advertisement)
Category: English is not my first language
Subject: the comments I get about my nights with women are amazing, people think im wizard!
Score: 2/10 (…at least there’s a comma.)
Subject: ladies say size doesnot matter, but we know, it does!
Score: 2/10 (What, are you Data from Star Trek? It’s “doesn’t”)
Subject: Have an unforgetful night of pleasure with your girlfriend!
Score: 6/10 (because this ad is just unforgetful!)
Subject: Goodiest offer
Score: 7/10, special award for most egregious example
Special Dual Category: (1) English is not my first language, and (2) What?
Subject: Tired of been pissed off in bed by your gf that you cannot_satisfy_her for that promotion will help you
Score: 9/10 (I think this is my favorite one.)
Category: Unsolicited advice
Subject: Dont look fat and stupid this summer.
Score: 1/10 (Too late, summer’s over.)
Category: Object Oriented Programming 101
Subject: Don't be fooled by ladies, size has matter!
Score: 1/10 (Size inherits from matter, that’s an “is-a” not a “has-a” relationship…)