It has occurred to me about once per day for the last year or so that I could stand to lose some weight. It’s not critical – if I measure my height without slouching, and measure my weight while I stand naked on the old analog scale and lean to the side, my body mass index is still within the “overweight” category. However, I’ve got a whole lot of German hillbilly peasant genes working against me here, and the prognosis isn’t great.
Anyhow, despite the daily reminder, I still haven’t lost much weight. Here’s a sample day. See if you can spot the problem.
5:45 am – Alarm clock goes off. Hit snooze a few times while the cats run back and forth over my head.
6:00 am – Get out of bed. Stumble to the kitchen, feed the cats, medicate and feed the dog.
6:10-7:00 am – Work out on the exercise bike while watching a video. (Yay, look at me go!)
7:00 am -- Eat a bagel or cereal. Take a shower and get ready for work, drive to work.
11:30 am – I’m starving. It’s time to go to lunch.
Lunch -- Eat the only vegetarian option on the menu at whatever restaurant we end up at. Eat too much because I’m so hungry, but that’s okay, right, since I worked out this morning.
1:30 pm – Pass by Robert’s stash of pretzels, oreos, and pistachio nuts. Look, I’m being good!
2:00 pm – Stop at Robert’s stash of pretzels, oreos, and pistachio nuts. It’s okay, though, since I worked out this morning.
2:30 pm – Hey, I worked out this morning, a few more pretzels won’t hurt.
3:00 pm – Damn you, Robert!
3:30 pm – Might need to work out again tonight to burn off the oreos.
4:00 pm – Isn’t it time to go home yet? I feel a little sick.
6:30 pm – Waddle out to the car and drive home.
8:00 pm – Dinner time. Oops, I ate half a pizza. That’s okay, though. I’ll just set my alarm for 5:45 tomorrow and work out in the morning…
Obviously it's all Robert's fault.