Sunday, April 4, 2010

Major Pain-in-the-butt or Five Star General Nuisance Maybe

I bought my dog a new bed today. The old bed wasn't washable, and it really needed to be washed. Who makes furniture for dogs that can't be washed? I don't understand.

Anyhow, I did my dog bed shopping at the hardware store, because... why not? Doesn't everyone? And it was on my way home from riding and the hardware store people don't care if you come in covered in mud.

My choices in washable or waterproof big dog size beds were: camouflage (pink and grey) and camouflage (green and beige). I refuse to bring pink into the house, so my dog now has a bed that would blend into the jungles of Vietnam. When I got it home I realized that it actually has a US Army patch and the tag says it's an officially licensed product.

I have nothing against the Army. In fact, I'm all for any institution that takes 18 year old boys and sends them out of the country for a while. It would be nice if they were doing something a little less violent, but we can't have everything.

My problem is that the US Army would never take my dog. She can't run, she can just barely do one push-up, she's completely blind (having no eyes and all), and we won't even go into that one time at the dog park when she started humping that other female dog. She's probably part German Shepherd, but that's the only thing she'd have going for her.

So... it seems a little mean to give her a bed that flaunts what she can't have. Not that she would ever know, because she can't read (having no eyes and all).

Still, you would think the hardware store would be a little more sensitive about the disabled.


JJ said...

I disagree. I think Lucy in an Army dog bed is like giving them the finger for not taking disabled lesbian dogs. They need to be more tolerant.

I hope she pees on it.

(OK, I don't really considering it's brand new and all...)

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Um, yeah, could we maybe not wish for my dog to have more incontinence problems?

Luckily, she's been able to find the bed and use it despite the fact that it's camouflaged. She doesn't seem to care about the army tag.