Sunday, April 25, 2010

It's a girl thing...

Top ten reasons I should have been born as a guy:
  1. Shoes. They need to be comfortable and protect my feet. That's all I care about. The only reason I would need stiletto heels would be if I needed to attack someone, and a knife would be more practical. (Not that this really has been a problem in my life...)
  2. Flowers. Guys don't understand them. Neither do I. Nothing says I love you like a hacked up plant?
  3. "Girls' Night Out" -- if you really want to do something and the guys aren't allowed to be there, I don't want to be there either.
  4. Babies. I don't want one. Apparently only guys are allowed to say that.
  5. Throw pillows. Nope, I don't get the point either.
  6. Cosmopolitan magazine. As far as I can tell, it has the exact same articles every month. And they aren't even anything I want to read.
  7. Talking things out. If something is dead and starting to smell, you didn't bury it deep enough. That's all I can say.
  8. Barbie dolls. They're creepy. And hard plastic.
  9. Bath salts.
  10. Shopping. It's a necessary evil, not a way to pass time. Thank god for the internet.
I think I missed school the day all this stuff was explained...


JJ said...

I agree with many of your points. Except the shoes. And the throw pillows. Since a boy moved in, I am constantly working on injecting some kind of color that isn't gray.

jeff said...

You did do a mean meat-loaf-on-a-stick. If that is not 'betty crocker', I don't know what is.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

JJ, some day you'll have to explain the throw pillow thing to me. I mean, I understand having an extra pillow around to prop up your head on the couch to make it easier to read, but more than one I just don't get.

Jeff, if I remember correctly, the meat-loaf-on-a-stick was wrapped in bacon. I was years ahead of my time. (Or years behind, since I think the recipe actually was from the 1960 edition of Betty Crocker.)

Karen said...

A "top ten" list is soooo Cosmo.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

No, K-poo, if it was Cosmo, the first item would be something about how to make your man wild for you in bed.

(Seriously, that's in every issue, at least according to the cover.)

Eric said...

That should be the top of any girl's list.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Maybe Cosmo is only sold to men... That would explain so much.