Sunday, January 2, 2011

Dressing Things Up

As I was cleaning up the house in preparation for the pet sitter to take care of the crew over Christmas, it occurred to me that my method of clothes storage showed a lack of... sophistication, shall we say. Sure, keeping everything in or on top of the drier was efficient, especially because things only got folded if I needed the drier for something else before they got worn again.

Yet there were a few problems with the system. For instance, a number of socks have ended up behind the drier. And inevitably the tower of clothes on top of the drier would fall over, so I would put a stack on the shelves in my closet where one of the cats would puke on them. That's rough on the clothes although the cats seemed pretty happy with the arrangement.

Anyhow, I decided to get a dresser for my closet, so I went to the hardware store. (Wait, everyone goes the the hardware store to get furniture, right?) I picked out the stuff I wanted, paid for it, then drove around back to get it loaded into the car.

I knew I might be in a little trouble when the guy whose job it is to lift heavy things all day asked me to help him load the boxes into my trunk because they were too heavy for one person to lift alone. So, yeah, I got home and had to unpack the boxes in my trunk and take all the pieces into the house separately.

Anyhow, on this picture from the box, you'll notice that it only requires a hammer and screwdriver.

However, on the third part of the pictorial instructions, it shows a right angle being used. Who owns one of those things? The correct answer is, not me. I figured I would just have to eyeball it. So my dresser might have a jaunty swagger -- it's in my closet. Who cares?

Overall the construction wasn't that difficult. None of the holes were pre-drilled on the second piece to be fastened, which was kind of a pain. At one point (as the boards were being pushed apart as I tried to seat the screw) I thought "They really should have pre-drilled the holes or at least used lag screws." And then I looked at the screw and realized it was a lag screw. And then I wondered how many people learned their carpentry techniques from orthopedic surgery classes instead of woodshop classes. Putting this thing together took two hours, so I had lots of time to think random thoughts like that.

The instructions for installing the dust bunny bar at the bottom included these diagrams:

Thanks for telling me not to screw it up. Wouldn't it just have been easier to pre-drill the holes? Jerks...

So one of the two is done, and the other one is still in pieces on my living room floor. Overall it was easier than the "tool-free" bookshelves that K-poo and I put together a few years ago.

Look at the page number on the last page of the instructions:

Yes, the entire instruction book was in English.

But at least I wasn't supposed to have a right angle.


JJ said...

From the diagram of those shelves, a right angle would be useless as there don't appear to be any!

I also learned about lag screws from orthopedic surgery. Does that make you feel better?

Although we have clothing storage devices, we seem to employ a similar method to what you've described. Add the occasional stream of cat urine to the vomiting, and you've got our household down to a T. (heh - see how I brought the right angle back in?)

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

The shelves actually are pretty straight -- my incredible photography skills are to blame for the waviness in that picture.

Glad to know I'm not the only one who learned carpentry through surgery.

I avoided listing the cat urine problem, but that's one of the main reasons I'm doing this. Freaking Scooter. (That phrase is repeated multiple times every day.)

Oh, and apparently we didn't use a right angle thingy in surgery, because I still don't know what the damned thing is officially called.

JJ said...

I think it's a T-square? At least the ones that looked like a T.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Okay, so I looked it up: the thing they show in the diagram is called (depending on where you look) a "carpenter's square", "steel square", or "framing square". It's not a T, but an L.

It seems to me that it is even if it had the two remaining sides to get it into the realm of being a square, it would still not be a square but a rectangle, since the two existing sides aren't equal, but who am I to argue with guys who pound nails all day?

JJ said...

I believe that in a builder's or carpenter's vernacular, the term "square" refers to a 90 degree/right angle, not a quadrilateral with 4 equal sides and angles.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Hang on, the entire world (even little kids) agrees on what a square is. But these guys think they're better than that? Sheesh.