Despite (or possibly causing) the current economy, the large corporation that pays my bills has quite a lot of overhead, including a staff of workout coaches. Every morning while I’m sitting in my chair eating chips, I read the email from Head Coach Dork in which he exhorts the workers to eat right and get in shape in the company gym.
These emails serve a few purposes. First, they serve as a daily reminder that my building isn’t important enough to have a gym and its attending coach. But more importantly, they give me something to make fun of every single day.
Coach Dork starts out every email with a subject line that must contain the phrase “NO EXCUSES!!!” Then there are some “inspirational” quotations, followed by an E-Z medical article copied off the internet, and finally a bunch of congratulatory messages to various people around the country that ran marathons and the like.
Today’s email quoted Christopher Reeve. “We can either watch life from the sidelines, or actively participate...Either we let self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy prevent us from realizing our potential, or embrace the fact that when we turn our attention away from ourselves, our potential is limitless.”
Now, lest you think me even more cold-hearted and cruel, I just want to say that I honestly admired Christopher Reeve for his attitude and sheer willpower. By all accounts he was a great guy. But…really? You’re going to encourage people to get more active by quoting someone who’s famous for breaking his neck while being active?
Scrawny Mike then took it over the top by suggesting that the Reeve quotation was used because the one from Hawking was too long…