Did Not Finish

There was a time when I finished every book I started, which was helpful when I had to read all the dead white dude classics in high school and college. I would power through like I was running a marathon, and the only goal was to reach the end.

But now that I only read books because I want to, I've learned the fine art of just... not finishing a book if I'm not enjoying it. And I'll admit, some of my reasons for putting a book down and never picking it up again are just kinda stupid. But I don't really have to justify my decision to someone else — if I'm not enjoying it, why waste more of my life on it?

Having said that, I don't review indie books that I've DNF'd. (DNF = Did Not Finish) But traditionally published books? Those suckers had every opportunity to be better, so they're fair game.

Here are the last couple books I've DNF'd:

Bookshops & Bonedust by Travis Baldree

I wanted to like this. And parts of it I did like. But the main character consistently made the stupidest possible choices, to the point that I was just anxious every time there was a new plot point.

Maybe I just don't vibe with cozy fantasy? Or maybe I'm just not a Travis Baldree fan? I read Legends & Lattes and thought it was just kind of okay, but I did finish it, so I was hoping I'd enjoy this one more than I did.

I don't know. But I gave up on this book well after the 50% mark.

Assassin's Anonymous by Rob Hart

I will freely admit my reasons for giving up on this one are stupid, but hear me out.

The premise of this book is kinda silly. The main character is a retired assassin (code name: Pale Horse) who is attending a 12-step program for assassins. At the start of the book, an unknown Russian guy tries to kill him, so he's trying to stay alive while figuring out who is trying to kill him and also start step nine, making amends.

So the premise is ridiculous, but I was absolutely okay with that. The only female character in the book could have successfully been replaced by a cardboard cutout — she's an NPC who disappears when the main character isn't around, and the book doesn't really try to disguise that. So... not ideal, but when you read thrillers by male authors, you know what you're getting into.

But things really fell apart for me with the cat. This assassin has a cat. Great. But I'm not sure the author has ever spent much time around cats. And similar to the woman, this cat disappears when the main character isn't around or when the author forgets about him. The main character's apartment burns, and his cat escapes. Instead of boarding the cat somewhere safe, this guy decides to take the cat with him to Singapore. Just... hops on a plane with his cat in a carrier so he can talk to his old handler.

This was the point when I really started side-eyeing the book.

1. If you keep a cat in a regular carrier for over 17 hours, where is the cat supposed to go to the bathroom?
   
   
2. You can't just take your cat to Singapore. Heck, you're not even supposed to cross state lines in the US without a veterinarian-signed health certificate. For Singapore, you have to arrange things at least five days in advance, and then there's a quarantine on the other end.
   
   
3. In reality, this owner would have faced a huge fine when he landed in Singapore, and they might have euthanized his cat on the spot.
   
   
4. Why would he bring his cat with him? I have traveled with animals. In fact, I drove from California to Louisiana with six cats, a dog, and three birds. Everyone was miserable. And I had a good reason to make that trip. If people are actively trying to assassinate you, bringing a cat along seems like a terrible idea.

Is this a stupid reason for DNF-ing a ridiculous book about a killer who is going through an assassin's 12-step program? Probably. But it threw me out of the book so hard that it was all I could think about even as the guy was running around trying not to set his recovery back by accidentally killing any of the people trying to kill him.

What hill have you been willing to die on?

So there we have it. Those are my reasons. Have you DNF'd a book recently for reasons that might not be easy to explain?