Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Village of Idiots

People think I'm kidding when I say that both of my dogs are stupid, but it really is true. Ginger looks like a rocket scientist compared to Molly, but they both belong on the short bus. (Please note that I'm not saying my dogs aren't lovable and sweet -- they're great pets and I don't have a job for a dog that needs constant stimulus.)

A few weeks ago I did an impromptu intelligence test just to see what would happen. While both dogs were watching, I filled two short cardboard tubes with kibble and folded over the ends. Again, both dogs watched me do this. I gave one tube to each dog and observed the results.

Molly took her cardboard tube into the living room and proceeded to eat it, cardboard and all. She even ate the pieces that hadn't made contact with the kibble.

Ginger ignored the tube and stared at me, with the same intense stare she uses any time she thinks I might give her food. After a few minutes I shook the tube (nothing), then I opened one end (still nothing), then I even shook out a few pieces. She gulped down the kibble that was on the floor, but still wouldn't look at the tube which still had one or two pieces in it.

Finally Molly came over and took Ginger's tube into the living room and ate her second helping of cardboard.

Apparently life really is like a box of chocolate. Especially if you don't even bother to open it before eating.


JJ said...

You know, I always tell Rich that Logan is dumb, but he doesn't believe me. We enrolled Logan in a couple of studies at the Canine Cognition Lab at Harvard (yeah, Tiger mom, me). This study revealed the true depths of Logan's...specialness. Apparently, he is a pointer that does not understand the significance of pointing. He will also not eat out of a bucket. He also preferentially goes to the left, even when you indicate that he should go right.

But he does have a certificate from Harvard.

Theresa B (of Nebulopathy) said...

Now I'm jealous. I want Harvard certificates for my dogs.

If I'm walking Molly on leash and I walk around an obstacle such as a bush, she occasionally gets stuck on the other side.

JJ said...

Logan does the same. If I try to extricate him by going back around the obstacle, he follows me, ensuring that he will never be entangled. Good times.

Also, Logan should have 2 Harvard certificates, but they forgot to give us the second one.