That's _Dr._ Magoo To You

One of the great things about my dog is that she's easy to make fun of and I don't have to feel bad when I do.

When she jumps three feet sideways and bruises my leg because she didn't hear a jogger coming up behind us, I get to laugh. And that time she went on alert and tried to attack a rabbit lawn ornament -- pure comedy gold.

But you know that saying about people and their pets resembling each other? Yeah... Today we were on our morning walk and I saw a woman with a big dog crossing the street at the corner a few houses away. So I did my usual routine of stopping and distracting the little dog who is intent on proving how tough she is as long as I've got a leash on her to hold her back. Sit, treat, touch, treat, point, treat, down, treat, etc.

Meanwhile the woman ahead of us has finished crossing the street, but she's just standing there, presumably letting her dog sniff all the wonderful smells at the corner house. Now if you have a dog you know there's an unspoken rule that if you see another dog and they are clearly waiting for you to get further away, you're not supposed to dawdle. So I'm getting a little irritated when thirty seconds have passed and this damn woman is still standing there. I've run out of tricks for the little dog to do, and I'm about to run out of treats as well.

And that was the point that I realized I'd been waiting for a bush to walk away. In my defense it wasn't fully light yet, it was a tad foggy, and I wasn't wearing my glasses, but still...

Yeah.

Freaks

Since this remodel involves a lot of wall and door moving, there has been a fair amount of sawing. Generally there's one guy inside the house telling one guy outside the house how long to cut the next piece. Then the guy outside makes the lights flicker for a minute or so. Finally, the guy outside passes the correctly-cut board through the window and starts working on the next one.

All of this means that they've set up a work space on the side of the house. I do most of the tree trimming, so everything is cut back to the point that a person of reasonable height (i.e., 5'5") can walk from the gate all the way around the house without stooping.

However, for the freaks who had an oversupply of growth hormone during childhood (i.e., everyone over 5'5" which includes every single one of the contractors) there are a few spots that are a little challenging, most notably right inside the gate where the looks-like-a-juniper-but-isn't-one grows and right outside the master bedroom where they've chosen to set up the table saw (or band saw or whatever the heck it is -- we didn't have a shop class at my high school and if we did they probably wouldn't have allowed girls to take it).

So for three weeks now they've been bringing boards through the gate and then going through various contortions to get back to the spot they've chosen to use as the work space. And my computer is set up three feet from the window that overlooks the gate so I'm sitting right there watching.

As amusing as this has been, today I decided to take pity on them and cut back the not-a-juniper. I mean, I hate that tree. It's ugly and it drops brown needle-leaves that get tracked into the house all year long. I'm planning on having it taken out the next time I have the trees professionally trimmed.

It really has been fun to watch, though...

Contractor Graffiti

I guess when you need to remember to do something about this:

and this:

you write yourself a note:

The Things We Do For... Treats

If you have been into a grocery store in the last decade you have seen these:

 I'm not really sure what is in them because I refuse to read the ingredients. They may have the souls of all of the unbaptized babies that died after Vatican II and no longer have a Limbo to go to as far as I know.

 They look and smell sort of like an even cheaper version of those horrid pepperoni sticks I ate as a child because ... processed food! I wouldn't eat these things now even if I ate meat. Or dog treats. Or meat dog treats.

 The first time the little dog had a small piece she had diarrhea for an entire day. And yet I buy them. Because they work. They take a little dog that has important smells to smell and things to check out and suddenly she's channeling her inner Border Collie on Ritalin and she's going in a serpentine over jumps and I'm just thinking about what direction she should go in and she's there.

(The bag has been on the counter less than 30 seconds and has already attracted three cats.)

So anyhow, yes, Pupperoni are awful and the rancid grease they leave on my fingers is just nasty. Ginger's not a particular fussy eater, and she will eat other treats. But when she's distracted, it's time to pull out the Pupperoni. Because I like to win.

On Your Marks...

While I thought I was just trying to get my bathroom remodeled, apparently the cats decided it's a contest to see if they could get rid of all of the blue tape that's holding down the floor covering before the contractors are finished with it.

Ripley tends to rip off a piece and chew on it when he's trying to irritate me. It's true, I swear. He only does it when I'm nearby and it's within an hour or so of a mealtime. The only other time he messes with the tape is when he's locked in the safe room and he's reaching under the door.

Lately, though, he's enlisted Scooter's help, and of course Scooter is helping in the only way he knows how. He peed on the strip of tape near the front door. I fully expect that behavior to continue despite the seven litter boxes that are cleaned daily.

At this point it looks like the contractors may have the edge. But an extra-hungry Ripley or a thirsty Scooter could really turn this into a tight race...

It Really Is Fall

Because you can never have too much butternut squash...

Yes, somehow I managed to get five in my CSA box. I think they doubled up a couple of them because they're pretty small. Expect my skin to be orange the next time you see me.

Told You So

According to a study published in the American Journal of Family Therapy, the average elementary school student receives three times as much homework as is necessary for their age group. Even worse? Most of it isn’t really that helpful. Denise Pope, a Stanford University education professor told Today Parents, “The only type of homework that’s proven to be beneficial for elementary school students is free reading.” (http://www.scarymommy.com/viral-note-gives-fantastic-excuse-for-not-finishing-homework/)

I rest my case.

Also, here is a picture of my little dog proving that she's still bigger than the puppy next door (even though she's not). Clearly I didn't take it or it would be blurry and only half of one dog would be in the frame. Still, they're pretty cute together.

(Photo credit: Jill Plumb)