Holiday Gift Guide

Background

I signed up for the Amazon affiliate program a while back for writing/marketing reasons. In case you're not familiar with it, if you click on a link and buy something at amazon, the person who created the link may get a few cents. (It doesn't change the price the end user pays.)

Every month Amazon tells me I didn't make enough for them to bother transferring money to my account.

From time to time Amazon sends me mail full of things they think I should tell my millions of followers to buy, as if I have a lifestyle blog showcasing articles like "10 Patio Umbrellas to Match the New Season". Their suggestions are pretty ridiculous.

But this seems like something to be mined for comedy gold. So I'm going to write the article they think I should be writing with their category suggestions... except with things that I would buy.

Once again, these are all affiliate links. If you click on them and buy something, I might get a commission. But it's not enough money to really get excited about.

Customer-Favorite Gifts

Some people hate them, but I got this air fryer for Christmas and I use it nearly every day, for everything from homemade pizza to fried tofu. But wait, you say. Isn't this just a small convection oven? Yes. Yes, it is. But I don't have a convection oven and this thing is the perfect size if you live alone. https://amzn.to/3V3ZQbJ

Electronic Gifts

This is the camera I bought for the kitten cam (https://www.twitch.tv/tm_baumgartner). My current kittens are a bunch of hooligans — I finally had to mount the camera on a weighted box so they would stop knocking it over. I've already gotten far more than $35 of entertainment out of this. https://amzn.to/3ElsVt1

The other thing I bought recently was this alarm clock that gradually lights up the room. I was too cheap to pay for the expensive brand, but this is better than nothing. Be warned — the user interface is horrendous. If you can get past that, it's useful. Because getting up when it's dark outside is bullshit. https://amzn.to/3C9cFJb

Fashion Gifts

This category... I'm just going to lean into my status as a crazy cat lady / kitten foster. That's fashion, right?

I love this cat litter. And it's easier to pay for someone else to carry 40# to the door instead of hauling it across my yard from the garage myself. https://amzn.to/3CdYWAC

I absolutely would buy this at the grocery store if my grocery store reliably stocked it. The 19-year-old cat finds dry food too much effort, so canned food it is! https://amzn.to/3SFsAG7

For those kittens that are supposedly weaned but don't seem to be eating, chicken baby food works like magic. Plus, it can be loaded into a syringe if necessary. https://amzn.to/3V9aXjJ

Beauty Gifts

Got me here. I don't use much that qualifies. Oh wait, here, does this count?

B12 gummies. Think about it if you're a vegetarian. https://amzn.to/3ECpPBp

Home Gifts

Furniture in my house is mostly just for the animals even if it didn't start out that way. But I did buy a big magnetic whiteboard recently, and it... seems to be working? I put my weekly tasks on there and it helps me remember I'm supposed to do them. https://amzn.to/3SHKoQL

Toys Gifts For Everyone [sic]

Books are pretty much the only things I buy for myself in the entertainment category. (So go buy my books!) But I bought these for the cats...

Springs! Cats love them. Kittens love them. One person recommended getting two bags in her review and she probably has the right idea because they fit under the couch. Whoever cleans out my house after I die will probably find 50 of them. (Springs, not kittens.) https://amzn.to/3fJt67l

Summary

Did I do the capitalism right?