Notes to My Future Self Regarding the Garden

So, pretty much every year I plant a vegetable garden. And about three months after I plant everything, I remember all of the mistakes that I made the previous year. I repeat them every year. But next year is going to be different. I swear.

Dear Future Self,

• Just give up on the sunflowers already. Not once have you managed to grow them even though everyone around you has. It's just not going to happen. Something about you makes sunflowers commit suicide. Accept that and move on.
  
• Even if a plant is six inches tall and three inches wide when you put it in the ground, don't plant anything else right next to it. All of the plants will get bigger. If you plant them on top of each other, you won't be able to get in to harvest the vegetables. This is why there are tomatoes and zucchini left rotting on the vine every year even though you can see them from four feet away.
• Stop buying six-packs of tomatoes. You feel sorry for the ones you don't need and put them in the ground anyway where they grow out of control. Every year you do this. Just stop.
• The automatic watering system must be installed when the plants are small enough to be able to find the main stem. Waiting until there is an 8'x8'x6' mass of leaves makes it impossible to put in a drip system.
• Okra? What the hell?
• Basil is also never going to happen. Just give up on it.
• You may plant either one (1) zucchini plant OR one (1) crookneck squash. That will give you so many that you will drive away all your friends and neighbors. You don't need a second plant to help with that.
• Cucumber grows like zucchini.
• Remember, you like cherry tomatoes. You don't really like beefsteak tomatoes. Plant accordingly.

Well, Future Self, that's about it. Oh, and don't forget to change the filters for the A/C. There's yet another three-pack in the closet (next to all the other ones you've bought every year). Enjoy.