I Love 'em Like Brothers

Rvan and Jeff were in Texas at some management meeting earlier in the week (I know, the fact that they sent Jeff to one of these things is funny all by itself), which gave Rvan and his boss and her boss yet another chance to giggle about the fact that HR rejected my application.

Jeff won his own heavy glass weapon award for complaining the most. Or maybe it was for outstanding leadership. We'll just say it's for something I'll never be qualified for.

One of the highlights of Jeff's trip was spending too much time in the hot tub and then realizing the next morning that he didn't know where his (only pair of) shoes were. Luckily the hotel staff kept better track of his stuff than he did.

In the meantime, Eric has been trying to tell me the joys of the Korean soap operas dramas that he's been watching lately. Apparently it's just bad luck to be a cute, non-obnoxious child in a Korean drama. Also, the suitable male doctor in the love triangle ("and there's always a love triangle") never gets the girl.

Eric told his Korean friend what he was watching and her response was "You should come to Korea and watch the dramas with the rest of the grandmothers."

You have to love stuff like this.

It may not be a coincidence...

I spent about five hours implementing a Rube Goldberg-esque solution to the problem of Microsoft Outlook lacking features developed in the 80s, so while my brain was relaxing I noticed something interesting on Facebook...

In the right sidebar (which I usually don't even look at), it has two pages recommended, the first of which is "Dancing". Now I'm not really sure why I would "like" a page for something so generic as dancing, but apparently almost 12,000,000 people have. Whatever, I thought, some people will "like" anything.

Directly below it was the "Sponsored" section with an ad from Starbucks, home of the "nothing under five hundred calories" drink. I haven't been to a Starbucks in probably about two years -- I don't really drink coffee and I found everything they sold to be overpriced (okay, fine) and too sweet. It was that latter bit that really blows my mind. I've had three boxes of Good & Plentys in the last week, so clearly a little processed sugar doesn't bother me, but every time I've had food from Starbucks I've taken a few bites and thought "wow, this is too sweet even for me". (And then, I'll be honest, I've finished it anyhow because that's what I do, but still.)

Anyhow, over 28 million people have "liked" Starbucks.

That pretty much explains a lot of things...

Soon the CEO will be calling...

In case I didn't believe that the whole world was conspiring to laugh at me already:

Today my boss (Rvan) got to chuckle with his boss' boss about the fact that my application to be hired for the job I already do was rejected by HR.

Paranoid? Me?

Never.

Mamma Mia Suck-a

Okay, so I make fun of Jeff not being able to get out the door with everything he needs to ride home every day, and yet every time I feel like watching a movie I can't remember the name of any movie that I thought might be good to see. I watch fewer than ten movies a year, and I know more than that come out every year where I see the trailer and thing "Hm, maybe I'll watch that when it comes out on iTunes." However, my hash table is essentially one direction, so I can't get information when I want to get a list of movies that I had that thought for.

Anyhow, while browsing through stuff on iTunes yesterday I saw Mamma Mia, The Movie. I'm not a huge fan of musicals, but this movie had a cast full of people I've liked in other roles (Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried, Pierce Brosnan, Colin Firth) and while it's a tad embarrassing to admit, I sort of like some ABBA songs.

Wow. That's the first time I've gotten through a movie with a run time of 1:48:36 in less than an hour. After about twenty minutes I started skipping forward to see if it got any better. It didn't. The actors all seemed vaguely ashamed. The scenery wasn't that great. Even the extras seemed to realize how bad this thing was.

I don't know. Maybe I'm not the target audience. Maybe it worked out better as a stage production. Maybe they should have made Colin Firth lose some weight and his shirt. Anything would have improved this clunker. I swear some of my friends have recommended this movie in the past.

This is why I watch bad action films instead. At least I know what I'm getting into before I waste two hours of my life.

Forget It

You know, they say that exercise keeps the brain sharp, but whoever did that study didn't interview Jeff.

He rides his bike to work almost every day it isn't raining.

And every day when it's time to go home, he changes back into his shorts, puts on the funny biking shoes, and grabs his helmet, backpack, and gloves (covered with duct tape to make them resist the wind better) and then walks out the door with his bike. Or, that's what he tries to do.

Instead, at least 50% of the time, he leaves and then I hear the doors reopen and he walks back to his cubicle to get whichever of the things he's left behind. Usually it's his gloves, but sometimes it's his helmet, or his backpack, or his shoes, or his phone, or pretty much anything that isn't actually attached.

It's gotten to the point where I start naming items he might have forgotten as he walks his bike past my cubicle towards the door, sort of like a weird game of bingo, but I have yet to name the item he's forgotten before he leaves.

Ah well, he's always been good for a laugh...

What Time Do They Serve Breakfast Here?

Since I've broken three alarm clocks in the last two years (sorry, Karen, you didn't still want that one you left behind did you?), I've just been winging it when getting up in the morning.

After all, it doesn't really matter all that much when I get to work, and if I get in too early it increases the percentage of hours that I'm there when our users are sending irritating email. It's just better for everyone involved if I have at least a couple of hours at work when I don't get any email.

However, on the days that I do drive in to work, I really do try to get there in time for lunch, and that's where the problem comes in during the winter months. I really need to get out of bed by about 8AM in order to have time to feed the cats, feed the dogs, feed the birds, walk the dogs, pack dinner, take a shower, get dressed, clean up after all the freaking animals in the house, and then drive to work in time to walk in the door, put my stuff down, and immediately leave for lunch.

While technically it is light outside by at least 7AM these days, when it's cloudy it seems to be about the same level of light from about 7 to 9. Sure, I could get a clock and put it on the wall (yes, a really, really big clock since I can't see anything without my glasses on), but where would be the fun in that? Instead, I try to pick up on more subtle cues.

1. If I roll over in bed:

• < 6AM: the cats all remain in place except for the ones that take up even more space and force me further over the edge of the bed. The big dog continues to snore.
• Between 6-7: most of the cats remain in place, but one or two jump off the bed. The big dog continues to snore.
• Between 7-8: all the cats except one jump off the bed and run to the kitchen. The remaining cat bites any skin visible outside the sheets and is launched off the bed. The cats return within two minutes and settle back in. The big dog continues to snore.
  
• After 8: all the cats except one jump off the bed and run into the kitchen. The remaining cat continues to bite me and be launched off the bed. The other cats play high speed Monopoly with my pillow being Go. The big dog continues to snore.
  

2) If I hide my face from the cat trying to bite me by letting my head hang over the edge of the bed:

• Before 7AM: no problem. The big dog continues to snore.
  
• 7-8: the little dog jumps up and licks my face. The big dog continues to snore.
• After 8: the little dog whines every time I take a breath and continues jumping up and licking my face. The big dog continues to snore.

3) If I sit up in bed:

• Before 6AM: None of the animals are fooled. They go back to sleep. The big dog continues to snore.
  
• 6-8: General pandemonium. The big dog continues to snore.
• After 8: General pandemonium. The big dog checks to see if I'm actually getting up. If so, she rolls around on her back until I make it out the bedroom door and then climbs/falls off the bed. If not she goes back to snoring.

As you can see, I can pretty accurately determine when 8AM rolls around, assuming I move around enough. You can also see that I don't get a lot of sleep after 6AM. There are days I consider going to a motel to get a good night's sleep.

Move It

There's a really cool (even, dare I say it, inspirational?) video making the rounds by Dr. Mike Evans:





(If embedding isn't working for you, here's the link 23 1/2 Hours.)
I like it because it's really well done, and (as Rvan would say) they "did some science on it".

And here's the anecdotal evidence to support the fact that being inactive will kill you:

On Monday I managed to tweak my upper back while sitting in my chair at work doing nothing, and that was while I was still recovering from the weekend when I hurt my shoulder while rolling over in bed.

As Jon says, you have to expect some health problems as you get older, but really? At 43?