Is Pork Vegetarian? How About Beef?

So today at work Jon wanted to take my brother Jeff out for a celebratory lunch because the bastard (my brother) will be done working in less than two weeks. The plan was to go to the Vietnamese noodle shop. They invited me along because we always eat lunch together and also, who wouldn't want to invite me along?

I think I've mentioned this before -- I quit eating meat about twenty years ago. What I probably haven't mentioned is that Vietnamese food, at least that which is served by this noodle house, is not exceptionally vegetarian-friendly. Usually when we go out for phở I order the closest thing to vegetarian that they have, ask them to leave out the meat, and then pretend that there are just some really strangely textured mushrooms in the broth (which is totally vegetable based at least as far as I know!). Yeah, if I was vegetarian for religious reasons I'd definitely be going to that religion's version of the Bad Place.

Anyhow, I looked at the menu and, not too surprisingly, there were zero vegetarian options. It's a little unexpected -- this is California, not Louisiana where that was a common occurrence. Just in case I'd missed a section, I asked the woman who came to take our orders.

"No, nothing vegetarian. Everything has meat."

Not "we can make you something with rice and eggs" or even "sorry, try the place next door", but just a flat out "no".

I have to admire someone who gives exactly zero fucks about making every customer happy.

Anyhow, I ended up with spring rolls filled with unflavored rice noodles. They actually weren't too bad when I added the spiciest sriracha sauce I've ever tasted (and which could not possibly be what was originally contained in the jar because I normally slather that stuff all over everything I eat and I'm telling you that is not what was in there).

Anyhow, I'll miss our lunches together. But I won't really miss that restaurant.

(I had springerles for dessert when we got back to work.)