It Pains Me To Say This

I had to bump my running plans by a day on Friday because I was having these weird sharp pains just under the left rib cage and it hurt to walk so I figured that running was out of the question.

I realize that normal people probably don't get irritated by pain just because it throws off their exercise program. Normal people probably actually take these things seriously and consult medical professionals. I never claimed to be normal.

My diagnostic plan (for pretty much everything) is to wait and see what happens. If I drop dead from it (outcome #1), well, at least I haven't spent long suffering, and hopefully someone will notice before my animals die of starvation. If it gets better (outcome #2, which has been how it's worked out so far) I haven't wasted any time being poked and prodded by people I don't know. And if it stays the same (outcome #3) then I know that I probably won't drop dead from it any time soon and the diagnostic approach continues.

Yes, yes, I'm aware that there are a few logical flaws in my plan, but at least I'm not clogging the emergency room with my visits.

Anyhow, it was better for a while on Saturday and then the pain showed up again the minute I started the five minute warm up walk. I decided that I'd ignore it and keep going as long as I could, which turned out to be a great idea. It's easier to ignore the general discomfort of running and lack of oxygen when you're thinking about sharp intermittent abdominal pain. It was my best run ever.

So against my better judgement I googled my symptoms today. We all know that's a bad idea and yet everyone does it. I've decided that I probably don't have pericarditis or a dissecting aortic aneurysm (see diagnostic outcome number 1). I think my legitimate rule-outs would include heartburn, gas in the colon (which mentions that the treatment is to "sit in a chair to rid the colon of the trapped air"), or stomach ulcers.

Whatever. If you need me I'll be sitting in my chair...