On The Fence

So... for the last seven years, my neighbors (Jill & Larry) and I have agreed that we need a new fence. About once every three months we would repeat the same conversation. ("We really just need to replace this whole fence." "I agree.") And then we would nail another piece of wood to the drunken meanderings of rotting pine and forget about it for another while. Whole sections of the fence were held up by a) ivy, b) rope tied to a tree, or c) a rusting trampoline. I once stupidly trimmed an oak branch that was growing over the fence, then had to jump back when an eight foot section of fence came crashing down.

Anyhow I finally told my neighbors that I would pay for the fence if they would do all the arrangements for it. Sure, that doesn't make any sense from a monetary standpoint, but they currently don't have a lot of extra money, and I still have a hole in the overhang from where a branch crashed through it four years ago, so we know that I'll never call anyone. The thought of getting quotes and dealing with strangers just makes me want to go take a nap. (I really need a personal assistant to deal with this sort of thing -- but then I'd have to hire a personal assistant. You see the problem, right?)

Within two weeks Jill had hired someone. She gushed about the job this guy and his crew had done for a friend of hers.

Then I met Ponch, who looked like he ought to be modeling for "Fencers of the West" calendar. And then I met his ridiculously good looking co-worker who looked like he ought to just be modeling. And then I started to wonder if I was paying thousands of dollars for Jill to have a temporary cabana boy. I mean, as far as I know she and Larry are very happily married, but maybe that's what the housewives of Woodland do. Which would be fine and all, I guess, but we really do need a new fence.

Lucky for me, these guys actually seem to know what they are doing. I don't think I've seen more meticulous work. This fence is going to be a masterpiece.

I wonder if they do housework...