The Cleanest Day of the Year

Bird cages and floors have been cleaned (for some value of cleaned). The dogs have been sent off to camp, where they will get to bark as much as they want to and everyone will constantly give them treats. All the baby gates have been taken down, and I am free to move about the house without constantly stopping to open them. With no late night dog walks, I got in my pajamas at 5pm. Do I know how to party or what?

My running app has a 5k tomorrow morning. I felt weird about running at 6am without the big dog to keep me safe from all the stray cats and squirrels, but it looks like it's going to rain anyhow, so if I get up that early, the run will be on the treadmill. Then I'll pack and get in the car and spend 50 (subjective) hours driving down to the southern half of the state. I'd love to find a good audiobook before I go, but I'm having a hard time picking one out. Obviously this is a minor problem, but ugh, Audible does not have a great suggestions or browsing section.

The internet savvy amongst us are wailing and rending their garments because I am publicizing that I will be gone from my house, but jokes on you because:

• Does anyone really read this?
• The only things of any value that Effing Scooter didn't pee on before he departed this earth were my laptops, and both of those will be going with me.
• Yes, the treadmill is new, but it's something like 150 pounds and you show me a thief who is willing to put that kind of effort into stealing things. If they do, well, they deserve to get something for that sort of work ethic.

Now I'm off to enjoy my clean sheets and a bed that isn't being hogged by the big dog. (I'll probably also spend the night freezing because my main source of heat is not there.) I hope your holidays (whatever you celebrate) are happy and healthful.

Ripley is working on his selfies.