Secret Cat Scrolls

I walked in on the cats behaving more suspiciously than usual (*) and I caught a whiff of smoke from the fireplace. After they had all scattered, I found this incompletely burned paper among the embers.

(Click to make it bigger)

A close-up of part of it:

I'd always suspected such a document, showing the need to jump on me before getting off the bed no matter where the cat was in relation to the door, existed and now I have proof. (I also have proof that my cats can't draw worth a damn, but let's not get side-tracked.)

There was also a note attached that read "In case of no further movement, after two minutes return to battle positions."

This explains so much...

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* -- No, I don't know what that means either...